Ask Nick Fury

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ask-the-prince-of-irony:

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Interview’s on Monday. When a big black floating Helicarrier appears, don’t attack it. We’re the good guys.

Rules for Valentine’s Day At Shield.

1) Tony Stark is not allowed to set up a kissing booth.

2) If he does, S.H.I.E.L.D employees are strongly discouraged to purchase any kisses from him.

3) This goes double for Thor.

4) Nobody is allowed to steal Hawkeye’s arrows.

     a) Even if you paint them pink and then give them back.

     b) Even if you paint them sparkly pink and then give them back.

5) Removing Hawkeye’s clothes while he’s in the gym or shower and replacing it with adult diapers is forbidden. Nobody wants to see a grown-ass man running around in a diaper. Except a very specific subset of people and they can do that on their own damn time.

6) Painting anything pink that belongs to any of the Avengers is a bad idea. Especially if it belongs to the Black Widow.

7) Suggesting she change her name to the Red Widow or Pink Widow in honor of Valentine’s Day temporarily invalidates the protocols she has to follow as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Bear that in mind.

8) No convincing Thor that serenading his love on webcam is a Midgardian courting custom. He cannot sing. Nor can he operate webcams. 

9) No using the projectors or whiteboards to draw ‘shipping charts’ or explain ‘quadrants’. Unless it’s part of some villain’s plan to distract us all by causing romantic entanglements in which case I will grudgingly allow it but no fucking illustrations.

     b) Even if they are ‘artistic’.

9) If you do any of the above, putting the footage up on the Internet is strictly forbidden and will be grounds for serious disciplinary action. But if you send it to me, you might get an extra week of vacation time. Might.

ooc: anyone mind cross-fandom questions?

[I’ve been getting sucked into other fandoms, hence my absence, but I am going to try to return! I may also be trying to interact with askblogs that are non-Avengers based. Anyone mind that? If you’ve got fresh questions to ask, please send them in! Nick needs to be bothered.’

Especially any Ultimate Spiderman askblogs (from the current cartoon show) would be fantastic.]

i miss you nick what has happened in the past month?

Anonymous

I got even more badass. And kicked more ass. And got kidnapped by the Skrulls. But let’s not talk about that. 

If Tony got into his head that he should adopt a bright, quiet asgardian boy as his little brother, would you help him get the interplanetary adoption papers in order?

Anonymous

…The fact that there’s such a thing as interplanetary adoption papers worries me greatly. Why is this even a thing.

so i hear your middle name is rainbow sparkles...

Anonymous

So I hear I’ve got a sassy anon to track down and take care of.  Or more likely, assign some junior agent to track down and take care of. And this time, I will be clear what the phrase ‘take care of’ means, we do not need a repeat of the fruit basket incident. 

Would you rather work with Ironman or Warmachine?

War Machine. Man at least knows how to take orders.

HYDRA got your tongue?

Anonymous

As well as all the other assorted parts but I’m back now. And definitely not a Skrull.

liesmith-loki:

Liesmith-Loki’s tumblr
Thundering-God’s tumblr
LIESMITH LOKI’S Shirts can be found HERE:
The King Uncrowned
The Burden of Kingship
THUNDERING GOD’S Shirts can be found HERE:
It was Thor!
Like Father, Like Daughter 
Again, the rules in brief:Please follow either Liesmith-Loki or Thundering God.  Reblog ONCE a day—please do NOT spam.  Likes don’t count.
Winner will get a CUSTOM t-shirt designed by Rask (Thundering-God) printed in his or her size, a Mighty Battlers Thor action figure (WITH HAMMER SWINGING ACTION) 7 Avengers photo buttons (you get Hawkeye too even though he was accidentally left out of the photo) and 4 Loki Doodle buttons made by Liesmith Loki.
PLEASE VOTE IN THE WE LOVE FINE CONTEST!  WHILST WE WOULD DIE OF HAPPINESS TO HAVE YOU VOTE FOR OUR SHIRTS, WE ARE BY NO MEANS BRIBING YOU TO DO SO!  MAY THE BEST SHIRTS WIN!
Winners get this shirt:


((Go forth and vote, agents!Also seriously, those buttons, DYING OF CUTE HERE.))

liesmith-loki:

Liesmith-Loki’s tumblr

Thundering-God’s tumblr

LIESMITH LOKI’S Shirts can be found HERE:

The King Uncrowned

The Burden of Kingship

THUNDERING GOD’S Shirts can be found HERE:

It was Thor!

Like Father, Like Daughter
 

Again, the rules in brief:
Please follow either Liesmith-Loki or Thundering God.  Reblog ONCE a day—please do NOT spam.  Likes don’t count.

Winner will get a CUSTOM t-shirt designed by Rask (Thundering-God) printed in his or her size, a Mighty Battlers Thor action figure (WITH HAMMER SWINGING ACTION) 7 Avengers photo buttons (you get Hawkeye too even though he was accidentally left out of the photo) and 4 Loki Doodle buttons made by Liesmith Loki.

PLEASE VOTE IN THE WE LOVE FINE CONTEST!  WHILST WE WOULD DIE OF HAPPINESS TO HAVE YOU VOTE FOR OUR SHIRTS, WE ARE BY NO MEANS BRIBING YOU TO DO SO!  MAY THE BEST SHIRTS WIN!

Winners get this shirt:

((Go forth and vote, agents!

Also seriously, those buttons, DYING OF CUTE HERE.))

coulson-of-shield:

ask-nick-fury:

They died an honorable death in the war against the Chitauri.

They what!? Those were vintage! What happened to them, sir?

They got soaked in your blood when Loki stabbed you; you bled right through your suit jacket onto the cards.

coulson-of-shield:

ask-nick-fury:

They died an honorable death in the war against the Chitauri.

They what!? Those were vintage! What happened to them, sir?

They got soaked in your blood when Loki stabbed you; you bled right through your suit jacket onto the cards.

Thor wouldn’t slam someone out of the arena. He’d slam them through the arena and any walls in the way.
And if he gets confused and thinks the fights on the ice are a free-for-all, then we’re going to be picking teeth out of the ice for weeks.

Thor wouldn’t slam someone out of the arena. He’d slam them through the arena and any walls in the way.

And if he gets confused and thinks the fights on the ice are a free-for-all, then we’re going to be picking teeth out of the ice for weeks.

Anytime, Ms. Carter. What kind of work were you thinking you’d do?

Anytime, Ms. Carter. What kind of work were you thinking you’d do?

They died an honorable death in the war against the Chitauri.

They died an honorable death in the war against the Chitauri.


Busy, Agent Hill. Same as the last time we spoke.

Busy, Agent Hill. Same as the last time we spoke.

 Stark once tried to make a better Easy Bake oven.

It blew up. First time anyone’s ever weaponized an Easy Bake oven as far as I know.

I give Thor one of those things, he’s going to not see any difference between it and microwave and somehow, don’t ask me how, it’s going to end with the Avengers Tower on fire.

 Stark once tried to make a better Easy Bake oven.

It blew up. First time anyone’s ever weaponized an Easy Bake oven as far as I know.

I give Thor one of those things, he’s going to not see any difference between it and microwave and somehow, don’t ask me how, it’s going to end with the Avengers Tower on fire.